Two friends, a cemetery and a prayer

Meet Stefan and Vasilije:

My focus for the next four months is language learning, building Serbian culture competence, and getting to know students from camps and my local city, Sremska Mitrovica, on a deeper level. As a part of follow-up for camps, I have been traveling the last week to Nis and Sombor to host events at their local churches, to get students into the church and partnered with locals to continue deeper conversations about God with them. As you can see, Niš in the lower part of Serbia, Sombor is up by Subotica on this map, and I live just NE of Belgrade. As much as I would like to visit all these cities frequently, this is not practical. It is very important students get connected to their local church for relation building and discipleship.

Stefan and Vasilije are students from Niš which is about 5-6 hours by bus from my city. These two students share quite different stories, yet each represent many others students in Serbia who stories are like theirs. Stefan was a student in my class at camp, and Vasilije was not able to come to camp as his parents, especially his mother, who is Orthodox, forbids him to associate with Protestants. After he became a Christian, she took him to a Orthodox priest to see if he could do anything to "undo" what he did. She paid him a lot of money to try to council him back to Othordox. Vasilije told me he just laughed and went along with it. To put things into better perspective, around 85% of Serbs still consider themselves Orthodox. It is simply national identity.

When Stefan heard I was coming down to his city this past week, he was at the seaside in Greece visiting family (as both a vacation and to mourn with his family as his grandma passed away of a stroke just two weeks ago). Despite him being out of the country, he immediately changed his plans and came home three days early, just to see me. I could not believe this! As he was still in the mourning process, he informed me he couldn’t hang out early one day because he had to go to the grave of his grandma. I, without thought with compassion for my friend, asked if I could come with him. He was so touched. To my surprise, he was already sad as he was going to be going alone. His mother and aunt that had gone with him twice before but were still in Greece, so he was more than grateful for the company.

Next morning, a taxi showed up at the place I was staying at, with Stefan inside. He said, let’s go. As my purpose is to intake as much culture as possible, my curiosity stayed alert. When we arrived at the cemetery, I was a little surprised that there was a gypsy lady selling flowers at the entrance. Also, if you take a vehicle into the cemetery property, you must pay. So much of Orthodox customs are monetary based. Interesting. We walked up to his grandma’s tomb. It was still fresh with dirt piled over. She lay next to her husband who she lost about 10 years back (if I am not mistaken). Stefan informed me that there may be some differences in how I mourn my lost in America.

He proceeded laying flowers in her vase and taking out a lighter and six small candles. He lit a few and placed them in the candle box located at the top of her tombstone. Then he handed me the rest asking me to light them so that his grandma, Slobadana, would have light to guide her way. Though to me, these were meaningless traditions in terms of his grandma’s after-life, I wanted to respect his ways while learning the customs.

With him, he brought a small bag with juice and cake/bread. As he had just come from Greece, he brought back traditional Greek cake and fresh, 100% squeezed juice with him to share with his deceased grandma. We each had a piece and drank while laying some on the tomb dirt for her.

He stood with a thought-provoking face and asked, “what are your customs for your lost family members?” I shared that most of my family knew the Lord fortunately, that we mourn our sadness of them gone, yet celebrate the life we had with them and the place they are at now. I shared what a typical viewing and funeral look like and that we then perhaps have a meal at church in fellowship. He seemed quite curious still. I, to break the silence and finally relief the desire on my heart to pray, asked if I could pray for him. I knew this may be against his traditions, but knew it would be the most effective moment of anything we had done. After, he said he felt so relieved, felt better, thanked me for coming and praying. Truly was a special moment in our friendship. I thank the Lord for this. 

At camps Stefan articulated that he had a relationship with God, that he prayed often and believed in God. Though myself and another intern spent a lot of time explaining what true Salvation was, he just didn’t seem to “get it.” We even shared that the devil himself believes in God. It is the surrender that matters. I noticed he had his bracelet from camp on. I asked him if he still wears it everyday; he said he did. I asked him what that meant to him. He said, “well, at camp only me and few students and alllll the Americans and interns had them. They were special. You (Traci) and Regent (one of the summer interns) both offered me yours. You both cared about me, were there when I was most in need, and, well, I feel closer to God when I wear it. It reminds me of how I felt at camp. I miss that.” I asked him if he wanted that feeling to be permanent. What he needs, is a true relationship with God. I told him he would feel better if he would surrender, give in and quit doing things in his own strength. He has some bigger decisions in his life to made coming up. Again, I shared, those would be easier if he just gave in. He told me that another intern had told him the same thing. This intern told him that he didn’t have a relationship with God, and that I was telling him the same things just in a softer way. He thanked me to sharing as he knew it stemmed from love, love for his soul and life. He said he knows he doesn’t have a relationship, but isn't ready. He isn’t sure if he is worthy, if he will do something to fall out of his salvation, or just not be good enough. He asked several times,"is Jesus truly the only way?” I combated these fears with Truth, sharing what the Book of Life is, who the Holy Spirit is, and what Salvation truly is. He just looked at me silent after I shared. It was getting late, I invited him to church the next morning. He had never been to church, but said he would give it shot because I was there.

Vasilije, myself and Stefan at church this past Sunday morning in Nis

To my surprise, as the Lord is so incredibly, we had a guest speaker from Britain, meaning an English sermon (and I would understand its entirety). He spoke on John 10:7-10. His opening lines was, “Jesus is the only door.” His three points were 1. Jesus is the only door. 2. When we go through his door, we receive safety in His arms and life choices become clearer and 3. In this safety we can walk in abundant life. It could not have been a more perfect sermon. I am in awe of His goodness and sovereignty! Stefan sat there with his jaw open, listening intently the entire time. After, he shared, that that was good. He like it. It kept him thinking. 

I asked him what his fears are. He shared that relationships are a big deal to him. He is a loyal kind of friend. He didn’t want to enter blindly or take it lightly as it is so different than his upbringing of Orthodoxy. He wants to keep his traditions as he doesn't know any other way. Even to church that mourning he wore is pin of mourning in respect for his grandma, an Orthodox tradition. He also shared he just didn’t understand all the Bible and what it means yet. I said rather frankly, that he wouldn’t fully get it, until he surrendered and the Lord opens his eyes. Just then, unknowing of absolutely anything we just spoke about, Vasilije walked in. I said hey Vasilije, “what is your story?” No context, he shared he was an atheist, something clicked one day while watching YouTube videos, he was searching for more, and just gave in, surrendered his heart. It just made sense he said. He shared that his eyes were blinded. He just didn’t understand the Bible until he finally knew Christ. Again, divine timing. Crazy cool.

Vasilije is a believer who is desiring such fellowship yet can’t because his  mother forbids all interaction with protestant believers. He will pretend to be going to the gym in order to come to church. (He was so excited when the church got gym equipment so he felt he wasn’t lying.) It is such an injustice in my mind that he can’t worship Christ freely. He wanted to come to camp so badly. He wants to leave home, but he can’t let himself as he still wants his little sister to come to know Christ. He prays for her often. I ask that you join our prayers for her as well. 

These two guys represent two norms of so many youth in Serbia. Each story breaks my heart of lies the enemy has place on this country through Orthodoxy that has so many truths that founded it. The enemy lurks in such close to Truth deceit. Our Lord is bigger and is already victorious! My request to you is that you would pray for Stefan’s salvation and Vasilia opportunity to join freely in corporate worship with his family in Christ.

We can never understand His marvelous ways of drawing us to Him. 

Isaiah 55:8-9 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts.