Paralysis

I woke in the middle of the night last night at 2:00am as rain came as a gentle, steady fall against my window. Sometimes when I am exhausted and fully vulnerable to myself and Him, alone and the world is asleep, I sometimes hear God the loudest. No distractions or people to attend to but to be fully captivated by His voice.

He is teaching and challenging me in many areas of my life through a book I am reading currently called "The Best Yes" by Lysa Terkeurst. One of my best friends in the states gave me this book just before I left to move to Serbia this summer, knowing my weakness in saying "No" well and without guilt. Last night, as I lay listening to God, He brought to mind my day's accounts...

Just last night, after a day full of Serbian language school, I struggled with saying no to the endless demands of those around me. Starting my day at 6:30am to catch an early bus to Novi Sad, to rush from class to meet with a girl from my local city to hear how her transition to school is going, to rush to catch a bus home, to rush to answer everyone's messages and demands from the day. Rush was the common denominator. And at 8:00pm when I walked into my apartment, my phone began ringing before I even got my shoes off and was sitting. I rushed, yet again, to answer and just as I went to pick up my phone, the Lord put on my heart,"no, you can say no." I put the phone back down, let it ring, went to the restroom, took off my shoes and sat before calling back several minutes later. I know I can't continue to be run by the voices, sounds, notifications and calls of those around me. I am paralyzing myself and missing the beauty of friendship and blessings in His' days for me.

In the moment that I put my phone back down, God brought to mind some encounters of my day...I realized that during that day, the two moments that I slowed down and wasn't rushing, I actually saw the beauty of His creation around me. During my break at language school, I found these lovely leaves and played with this lonely stray pup which both brought such smiles to my heart. I spoke with a gentlemen who was need of a smile and was able to bless his day. When I wasn't rushing, I was able to bless others and allow Him to receive the glory He deserves. I felt the conviction that rushing is selfishness, essentially wasting God's precious given time and loosing opportunity to let Him use me. 

After making the call back to this person who simply wanted a friend to speak with, I took a hour to myself to go for a run, mentally rest, eat some food and soak in His presence. When I returned, my heart, mind and body was at such rest, I fell asleep as I sat beginning to respond to those demands of the day again. Rest is a gift from God. Why resist it? Those demands can wait. Also, they are only demands if I label them this. 

As God was laying verses on my heart last night as I woke, Romans 8:26-28 came to mind. "In the same way the Spirit helps us in our weaknesses. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with wordless goans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance to the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

I just found such rest in this scripture. The Spirit is praying on behalf of me, going before me. He knows my weakness of saying no, and therefore, He stepped in to stop this habitual pattern. If my heart and mind align in direction of God, I don't have to agonize to the point of paralysis over decisions I make. I can say no while feeling guiltless. I can rest in the fact that He knows what I need to and need not to attend to. God's work is not dependent on my ability to always choose well, but rather on His ability to use well. 

When I rest versus do (which I am learning still that I am a quick doer),  He can be gloried, recognized, others can be blessed and His name goes further. It is not what I do, it is what I am and whose I am. I refuse to let paralysis due to rush, let me miss out on the joy of serving, loving, living in His blessed life for me and ultimately allowing Him to not receive His glory to the highest degree it can! Meeting with this girl, praying and encouraging her, learning the Serbian language and blessing others is what life is all about, and THAT is what brings Him glory and leaves my heart in an ever state of gratitude and joy. 

Psalms 104:1 Bless the Lord, my soul. Lord, my God, You are very great; You are clothed with splendor and majesty. 

Being Apart of His Movement ( JV Fall Conference)

"Sometimes small steps of faith can reverberate for centuries." Dave Patty, JV founder and president

Fall conference was such a life-giving, renewing and joyful time of fellowship for me. I love being around contagious people full of the joy of the Lord. I had been missing this wholesome fellowship and worship (in English) deeply after being in Serbia for four months. I thank the Lord for providing in such a needed time. The conference theme was INSPIRE as we discussed the early movement of God in Acts, the Moravian movement in the 1700s and the present movement we serve in today. Here is glimpse into why it was so life-giving for me:

Dave Patty opened the conference with an introduction of the Moravian movement. The next morning we had a bus tour to visit the very locations that were spoken about! This movement began in the 1700s, in the small village of Zenklava, just mile away from where we were in the Czech Republic where a young carpenter named Christian David came to faith in Christ. His home was nothing special. To you and I his home and city is "in the middle of nowhere."

At the time Catholics had outlawed Bibles for the common man and becoming a protestant believer was punishable by death. This didn't stop Christian David. He was a passionate man, fearless and fired up. He began to preach the Gospel in the surrounding towns and villages. In the small village of Suchdol, again just miles from where we were for this conference in Malenovice, CZ, revival broke out and over 300 of the town’s 700 inhabitants came to faith in Christ.

These new believers faced true persecution. One of the interesting punishments we learned about,  being a less extreme form, was to sit on a pointed piece of wood for no given amount of time and be ridiculed. Despite this, Christian David didn’t give up. He discovered that a young German Count, Zinzendore, was living in Saxony, north of Prague, and was offering space on his land for religious refugees. 

Zinzendore was just four years of age when he came to know Jesus as His Savior. His story paralleled my life in so many ways. One of my favorite quotes of his was, "I have but one passion: It is He, it is He alone. The world is the field and the field is the world; and henceforth that country shall be my home where I can be most used in winning souls for Christ.”  It reminded me of the verse in Luke where it says to whom much is given, much is expected. The Lord has thoroughly blessed me, and it just challenged me to evaluate how I am living and serving. 

Back to the story, Christian David led 280 believers from Suchdol, and many others from the surrounding villages, to form a new community on the count’s estate, naming it “Herrnhut” meaning “under the Lord’s watch.”

Years later another revival broke out in this community, generating a 24-hour prayer chain and daily small groups to study Scripture. This prayer chain lasted 100 years! In 1732 they sent the first missionaries to the West Indies and then to Greenland. Nearly 20% of the community was serving as missionaries.

When Moravians heard of people that didn't know Jesus, they went. Often this was through casting lots. In the next 20 years, Moravian missionaries went to Labrador, Estonia, Latvia, Finland, parts of Russia, South Africa, Ceylon, Tibet, and even America. They founded Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and evangelized a number of the American Indian tribes. This small community did more mission work in 20 years than the entire protestant church had accomplished in the 200 years preceding them.

It was at a Moravian Bible study in London that John Wesley came to faith in Christ. His preaching was used by God to launch the Great Awakening. Some would say that the evangelical movement in America is actually an extension of the Moravian revival.

At this conference JV hosted and inspired nearly 350 of our Josiah Venture staff and partners to ask God to let them experience a similar movement today. JV staff all over Europe are inspired to set sparks of His movement in their local cities! Such a small glimpse of how powerful this week was for me!

Will you pray that these small steps of faith reverberate for centuries?