My First Christmas

Three months ago I was approached with the question, "What will do you for Christmas?" My reply seemed simple, without thought, in my heart. "I will worship and celebrate our Savior's birth!" I said. The person replied, "But, you will be away from home." This instigated new thoughts I have never really ventured into. For me Christmas was a celebration, full of hope and joy our Savior brings. Yet after this year, Christmas will never be the same.

What was the first Christmas like for Jesus? He left his Heavenly home, throne, and came to a sinful world. He was stripped of dignity. He was robbed of honor. He was humbled to a manager. He was a helpless babe. He was without home with a temporary family willing to take him in. He became true love in the flesh.

Just typing those words overwhelm my soul with such a deep gratitude, submission, reverence and reciprocal love to our Abba Father.

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Christmas is celebrated on January 7th in Serbian Orthodoxy. Only Protestant (Gospel-believing) churches and individuals celebrate on the 25th. This in itself is a statement of whom you believe in.

On December 24th I had a party for youth from any summer camp over the last four years. Though 27 were committed, 16 people came. As a cultural norm, 11 cancelled the day of. We played reverse charades, identified Christmas carols while having giant marshmallows in our mouths, raced to create human snowmen from toilet paper, competed to be first to unravel a Saran wrapped ball of treats and spent an evening sharing American Christmas game fun, music and foods.

One student had her own birthday party following this party. However, because of her fun here, she left an hour after her OWN party started.

To my foolishness thinking all 27 would still come, I was sad 11 individuals cancelled, yet of course God orchestrated His perfect way. A student from Cyprus from my Serbian school came all the way from Novi Sad, a city 1:15 hours away via bus. Due to a misunderstanding of bus delays, he also attended church with the us the next morning. Coming from an Orthodox culture and upbringing, he had never been in a church that actually gave a sermon about the Bible, verses simply "singing" hymns from it. He heard the Gospel in a very reciprocal-welcomed way, and he expressed curiousity and enjoyment from what he heard. (Continue to pray for his repentence and heart's acknowledgement of a need for the Savior.) What is even cooler, the youth of our church shared the story of our sweet Savior through a Christmas play.

Following our Sunday morning service, the pastor and his wife invited me to their home to join their family and daughter-in-law's family for Christmas together (10 plus myself in total). The daughter-in-law's family only heard of my coming literally the morning of. I and the pastor's family knew two days in advance. I was blessed to be taken in and loved as their own. It was so humbling to feel "without family" and have this family so graciously treat me as their own.

Each year this family takes family Christmas photos. All the women wore dresses from the same material one of the mothers sowed. As I joined a little last notice, the mother gave me a bow of the same material to make me match. They did not take even ONE photo without me; I was apart of the family. Even though I didn't know traditional norms with them, they just grabbed me and showed me "the ropes" to fit right in.

Each family member makes or buys gifts for each other family member. All of that individual's gifts are placed in a pile, and we all watch as that person opens. Though one of the two families had literally one hour in prep, I STILL recieved all the same gifts as the others. From the 10 year old daughter, I recieved the most precious, home-made, leaking snowglobe with a toy polar bear inside. From the older sister, I recieved a freshly cooked "cake in a jar." From their parents, I recieved chocolate from their family trip to Greece just as all the kids recieved. From the other side, I recieved a Skype care package of snacks to enjoy with my family in the states as the other family recieved a family movie night care package. From our pastor and his wife I recieved a winter hat, pens, and keychain; again, just as all their kids recieved. From their daughter I recieved a Kinder egg (as we don't have these in the states) and three sweet wooden ornaments. And from them all, I recieved a second family full of loving arms.

Language was no barrier. During games I was given a kid-like handicap so that I could play along in Serbian as well. For me, it was humbling to be an almost 25 year-old who has the language capacity of a child yet treated with such dignity in that regard.

When the emotion of being away from my real family overcame me, my Serbian mother just hugged me without words, just a loving embrace. This reminded me, home is not of this world. Family is a temporary gift (don't take it for granted), and from this day forward, though there is no Biblical evidence, I believe in Heaven, there is no remembrance of our earthly family. The bride of Christ is our family. We are ALL His together in His loving arms.

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That small glimpse, that miniscal feeling of homelessness, that moment of aloneness, that humbling of being languageless and being without family, gave me the smallest broken heart for our Savior (and I stress SMALL as our earthly being has no understanding of what He went through). A broken heart that stirs immediate praise, love, gratitude and reverence to our Lord and Father. My heart remains in awe of our Savior's perfect love that we can't even understand. What a loving, gracious, humble, perfect Savior we have the gift to recieve and have personal walk with. 

Each of those gifts I recieved were not a snowglobe, a ornament, a piece of chocolate, they were love from above, a symbol of His love.

Sitting around a table of seemingly strangers doing seemingly strange activity, eating seemingly strange food, allowed me to reflect on the strange world Jesus was brought to, all for the sake of love, His perfect love.

And what's even more, because students cancelled coming to the party, now I have and will continue to meet these 11 on one-to-one bases instead, having deeply, more real conversations, including a student from Nis who will come for several days this weekend for New Years whom I have asked you to pray for many times before.

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What is Christmas? It is about a perfect Father, leaving His perfect home, giving us the perfect gift of love through His perfect Son and our perfect Savior.

Though I know this; though I would like to say I have celebrated Christmas every year, I know now I have never truly celebrated until this year, being taken away from the commercialized distractions (though I have fooled myself in thinking I have many times before) and being humbled without language or my earthly, biological family, I have truly experienced that Christmas is all about His giving selflessly to us.

"And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth." Philippians 2:8-10

CHECK OUT ZALA'S STORY!

JV prays for Eastern and European youth to come to know Jesus personally and become disciple makers. Check out Zala's precious story as she now is sharing the love of our Savior in Slovenia! Nationals relate to students in ways foreigners cannot, and it is amazing the impact nationals make in local youth groups and communities. 

JV Girls at Thanskgiving
(Zala is standing to my right)

 "Growing up I always belived that God exists, however it wasn’t until my second English Camp with Josiah Venture in 2009 when I realized that my understanding of God was wrong. I always pictures God somewhere up there, distant and when I am not obedient - angry at me.  Through Josiah Venture ministry and many one on one conversations I learned what personal relationship with Jesus means and I eventually accepted Christ as my Savior. Through Josiah Venture ministry God really showed me who He is and who I am in Him. He gave me a community where I am weekly encouraged and challenged to grow and seek Jesus.

Fellowship on ropes course

I joined Josiah Venture Slovenia in September 2016. I am leading high school group (leading different camps, Bible studies, mentoring girls...) in my local church in Ljubljana, co-leading a 2 year theological training for Slovene college students and working on different projects. I love that I get to share the Gospel with my Slovenes and see more "Zalas" come and be transformend by God's love."

I met Zala over Thanksgiving break, and I was deeply blessed by her sweet conversation and prayer for my life. It is beautiful to hear her transformation and love of God. Pray and ask the Lord if He may have you join what Zala is apart of in Slovenia! For nationals, it is much more difficult to find financial partners without American church connections. Will you please pray for opportunities for her to connect with supporters?

Join by giving here: https://josiahventure.webconnex.com/1410035

Paralysis

I woke in the middle of the night last night at 2:00am as rain came as a gentle, steady fall against my window. Sometimes when I am exhausted and fully vulnerable to myself and Him, alone and the world is asleep, I sometimes hear God the loudest. No distractions or people to attend to but to be fully captivated by His voice.

He is teaching and challenging me in many areas of my life through a book I am reading currently called "The Best Yes" by Lysa Terkeurst. One of my best friends in the states gave me this book just before I left to move to Serbia this summer, knowing my weakness in saying "No" well and without guilt. Last night, as I lay listening to God, He brought to mind my day's accounts...

Just last night, after a day full of Serbian language school, I struggled with saying no to the endless demands of those around me. Starting my day at 6:30am to catch an early bus to Novi Sad, to rush from class to meet with a girl from my local city to hear how her transition to school is going, to rush to catch a bus home, to rush to answer everyone's messages and demands from the day. Rush was the common denominator. And at 8:00pm when I walked into my apartment, my phone began ringing before I even got my shoes off and was sitting. I rushed, yet again, to answer and just as I went to pick up my phone, the Lord put on my heart,"no, you can say no." I put the phone back down, let it ring, went to the restroom, took off my shoes and sat before calling back several minutes later. I know I can't continue to be run by the voices, sounds, notifications and calls of those around me. I am paralyzing myself and missing the beauty of friendship and blessings in His' days for me.

In the moment that I put my phone back down, God brought to mind some encounters of my day...I realized that during that day, the two moments that I slowed down and wasn't rushing, I actually saw the beauty of His creation around me. During my break at language school, I found these lovely leaves and played with this lonely stray pup which both brought such smiles to my heart. I spoke with a gentlemen who was need of a smile and was able to bless his day. When I wasn't rushing, I was able to bless others and allow Him to receive the glory He deserves. I felt the conviction that rushing is selfishness, essentially wasting God's precious given time and loosing opportunity to let Him use me. 

After making the call back to this person who simply wanted a friend to speak with, I took a hour to myself to go for a run, mentally rest, eat some food and soak in His presence. When I returned, my heart, mind and body was at such rest, I fell asleep as I sat beginning to respond to those demands of the day again. Rest is a gift from God. Why resist it? Those demands can wait. Also, they are only demands if I label them this. 

As God was laying verses on my heart last night as I woke, Romans 8:26-28 came to mind. "In the same way the Spirit helps us in our weaknesses. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with wordless goans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance to the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

I just found such rest in this scripture. The Spirit is praying on behalf of me, going before me. He knows my weakness of saying no, and therefore, He stepped in to stop this habitual pattern. If my heart and mind align in direction of God, I don't have to agonize to the point of paralysis over decisions I make. I can say no while feeling guiltless. I can rest in the fact that He knows what I need to and need not to attend to. God's work is not dependent on my ability to always choose well, but rather on His ability to use well. 

When I rest versus do (which I am learning still that I am a quick doer),  He can be gloried, recognized, others can be blessed and His name goes further. It is not what I do, it is what I am and whose I am. I refuse to let paralysis due to rush, let me miss out on the joy of serving, loving, living in His blessed life for me and ultimately allowing Him to not receive His glory to the highest degree it can! Meeting with this girl, praying and encouraging her, learning the Serbian language and blessing others is what life is all about, and THAT is what brings Him glory and leaves my heart in an ever state of gratitude and joy. 

Psalms 104:1 Bless the Lord, my soul. Lord, my God, You are very great; You are clothed with splendor and majesty. 

Being Apart of His Movement ( JV Fall Conference)

"Sometimes small steps of faith can reverberate for centuries." Dave Patty, JV founder and president

Fall conference was such a life-giving, renewing and joyful time of fellowship for me. I love being around contagious people full of the joy of the Lord. I had been missing this wholesome fellowship and worship (in English) deeply after being in Serbia for four months. I thank the Lord for providing in such a needed time. The conference theme was INSPIRE as we discussed the early movement of God in Acts, the Moravian movement in the 1700s and the present movement we serve in today. Here is glimpse into why it was so life-giving for me:

Dave Patty opened the conference with an introduction of the Moravian movement. The next morning we had a bus tour to visit the very locations that were spoken about! This movement began in the 1700s, in the small village of Zenklava, just mile away from where we were in the Czech Republic where a young carpenter named Christian David came to faith in Christ. His home was nothing special. To you and I his home and city is "in the middle of nowhere."

At the time Catholics had outlawed Bibles for the common man and becoming a protestant believer was punishable by death. This didn't stop Christian David. He was a passionate man, fearless and fired up. He began to preach the Gospel in the surrounding towns and villages. In the small village of Suchdol, again just miles from where we were for this conference in Malenovice, CZ, revival broke out and over 300 of the town’s 700 inhabitants came to faith in Christ.

These new believers faced true persecution. One of the interesting punishments we learned about,  being a less extreme form, was to sit on a pointed piece of wood for no given amount of time and be ridiculed. Despite this, Christian David didn’t give up. He discovered that a young German Count, Zinzendore, was living in Saxony, north of Prague, and was offering space on his land for religious refugees. 

Zinzendore was just four years of age when he came to know Jesus as His Savior. His story paralleled my life in so many ways. One of my favorite quotes of his was, "I have but one passion: It is He, it is He alone. The world is the field and the field is the world; and henceforth that country shall be my home where I can be most used in winning souls for Christ.”  It reminded me of the verse in Luke where it says to whom much is given, much is expected. The Lord has thoroughly blessed me, and it just challenged me to evaluate how I am living and serving. 

Back to the story, Christian David led 280 believers from Suchdol, and many others from the surrounding villages, to form a new community on the count’s estate, naming it “Herrnhut” meaning “under the Lord’s watch.”

Years later another revival broke out in this community, generating a 24-hour prayer chain and daily small groups to study Scripture. This prayer chain lasted 100 years! In 1732 they sent the first missionaries to the West Indies and then to Greenland. Nearly 20% of the community was serving as missionaries.

When Moravians heard of people that didn't know Jesus, they went. Often this was through casting lots. In the next 20 years, Moravian missionaries went to Labrador, Estonia, Latvia, Finland, parts of Russia, South Africa, Ceylon, Tibet, and even America. They founded Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and evangelized a number of the American Indian tribes. This small community did more mission work in 20 years than the entire protestant church had accomplished in the 200 years preceding them.

It was at a Moravian Bible study in London that John Wesley came to faith in Christ. His preaching was used by God to launch the Great Awakening. Some would say that the evangelical movement in America is actually an extension of the Moravian revival.

At this conference JV hosted and inspired nearly 350 of our Josiah Venture staff and partners to ask God to let them experience a similar movement today. JV staff all over Europe are inspired to set sparks of His movement in their local cities! Such a small glimpse of how powerful this week was for me!

Will you pray that these small steps of faith reverberate for centuries?

Cracking the Nuts of Life

My momma and I have the dearest relationship. I thank for the Lord daily for how she raised me to know our Lord in a personal and tangible way from such an early age. She is more than just a mother; she is my friend and godly life-partner to share the joys and cracks of life with while speaking truth into mine, sharing life experiences and imparting wisdom the Lord has given her through her years.

Just this week she light-heartedly was sharing with me the joys of her day which bring smiles to my face every time I read them. The line "Chloe is enjoying the joy of cracking nuts" resonated in my mind for quite some time following reading the email. To better understand why this was so meaningful, you must know that Chloe is just a three year old child. To her, cracking nuts is a brand new activity, never experienced before. The idea that a durable, solid structure can be crushed by her very own hands, is so empowering to her. She loves that SHE is capable of opening it all by herself. Though she can't crush it on her own, with a simple tool, she suddenly can. What tops off her joy, is that there is edible surprise and reward for her labor.

What are the current nuts of my life? What is it that I just can't crush on my own? Learning a new language. Living away from family and friends (and pup dog) that I treasure deeply. Conquering the public transportation systems. Living alone and renting an apartment. All the newness life has brought me in the last four months.

In my own strength these tasks are impossible to crack. With just a simple tool, His Word and the gift of prayer, these tasks are easy. He takes the impossibility of them away, the burdens, the challenges. There is nothing on this earth that I can't crush in His name even the enemy's attempts to tear down God's good, good work. And how can that not bring joy and empowering passion to our lives?!

The best part, once you crack into these "nuts" God has for your life, His blessings and joy in the unknowns are plentiful. With a new language, I can worship God in a new ways with new believers and with new songs. I ask Him before each lesson to give me listening ears and a retaining mind so that I can swiftly learn this language; on my own, the language is tiring and impossible. With a new language, I can read the Bible with new diction giving new convictions, hope and ways of seeing His truths. With His eyes, I get to experience the strengths of cultural norms such as hospitality here in Serbia. With Him guiding my steps, I have the joy of meeting and exploring new people and places. I get to meet people from all over the world and share Christ with them. With His plans for me to know Him more, I get to be challenged in new ways that draw me nearer to my personal Father to experience new ways He provides. All these would be lost without using a simple tool, a gift He hands to each of us.

That same joy Chloe experiences when cracking a nut, is how I feel everyday when I recognize who my Father is through the power of His Word. It is empowering and life-giving. That is a joy that never ceases! I wouldn't change a thing. Thankfully He knows the best nuts for us to crack, and He gives the best surprises and rewards inside!

I am amazed how the Lord reveals Himself in such simple, relatable  ways. I am so grateful.

Go with the Flow

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23

 

For those who know me well, know I am a Proverbs advocate. I still find no irony in the fact that there are 31 days in a month and 31 chapters of Proverbs in His word. That means I read each chapter of Proverbs 12 times a year and still find conviction, truth and wisdom in them each time. I set the verse above as my Skype profile line around a year ago to remind me how life-giving or life-suffocating my words can be to others. I recently took notice of this verse being there and began thinking about it.

This particular verse is one of my favorites as I enjoy talking...maybe a little too much. I love sharing and living life with others, but protecting the heart is so crucial for life-giving conversations, actions and way of living. I fall short of life-giving words all the time even when my intentions means well, and I am praying often that the Lord lets only the Spirit speak out of me. One translation of this reads as a command, “Keep your heart pure."  In order to do that one might say, we’d have to turn off our televisions, avoid our computers, skip going to the movies or walking the streets in public, stop reading the newspaper, etc. I have often thought how nice it would be to go live in a secluded cave, island, castle, tree-house or cool location of a get away sometimes, but that’s not what Jesus said, “As You sent Me into the world, I have sent them into the world” John 17:18. For as long as we’re here, this is where we’re meant to be. I am meant to be here in Serbia with its frustrations and joys that come with it. Surrounded by constant temptations. struggles, pulled this way and that, we are called and equipped by God to choose wisely, and it is a choice. Even if we secluded ourselves from others or from this world, we are still in this world and sin comes from the heart. 

Choices start in our heart. For "the heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps" Proverbs 16:9. Recently, I began to ask myself questions such as, do I  “lay up His Words in 'my' heart” Job 22:2 as well I as He calls me to? As I am learning the Serbian language intensively right now, it reminded me this very thing.  If we know His Word, we speak His Word. The more Serbian I know, the more I am speaking it. This month I have begun to memorize the forth chapter of Proverbs along side studying Serbian. I pray for discernment by His Spirit for what His plans are for me constantly, but I rest in knowing He establishes my day by day steps.

In Hebrew the word, leb, can be found several times in Proverbs and appears nearly six hundred times in the Bible. It translates as “inner man, mind, will, heart.”  This is the place where we experience, seek and know God. So for out of it springs our love for Him- our worship, honor, and obedience to Him. It is a love that can't be contained if it is a true wellspring. Here in Serbia, there are springs of water every few blocks, as a constant reminder to me that if my heart is full of Him, it will overflow relentlessly of Him...

...even when life goes a little out of my personal desires. This week I had few, what I would call, frustrations. Here are a few to share:

• My computer decided to wipe itself clean of all its files, docs and pics due to Windows 10 update.
• A bird pooped on my phone, of all places, which was fun to clean up.
• Got the opportunity to learn much culture through paying my bills at the post office (Yes, this is where you pay water, electricity, phone, internet bills), learn how to stand in line by breathing down others' necks in order to be officially in-line for your turn, to find out three times I was in the wrong line, and to practice my Cyrillic letter skills by translating into Latin lettering to discover I didn't know the word anyway.
• Had my class change its time 2 hours longer than normal which made my team cancel their meeting.
• Had a bus come 42 minutes after its arrival time to make my entire team have to reschedule their team meeting two hours late.
• Walked into a freshly painted door when trying to push it open and ruined my shirt and painted my arm. 

Looking back at these events, I saw a progression of heart surrenderance. At first I was frustrated but by the end, I genuinely just laughed. Nothing was in my control. I couldn't have prevented one of these from happening. I am learning to live by "going with the flow." A lot of times I have no clue what is happening anyway as it is a foreign language or way of doing things. This verse came to mind all week.

Flow is a wonderful thing. Every minute of every hour, our beating hearts send blood flowing through our bodies, keeping us alive. We don’t have to think about it. We don’t have to plot, plan, or scheme. It just flows. In the same way, when we fill our hearts with God’s wisdom, when we love and trust instead of fret or getting frustrated, God does something amazing. He turns our mess into righteousness. We go with His flow. 

When I went with His flow, I was at peace with how things were going, laughed and enjoyed taking in the culture. 

That New Loathed Word

The word "airport" used to mean an anticipated journey. I remember growing up loving watching planes go up and down. We lived nearly five minutes from the airport, and it was always a treat to go sit in the “viewing” area to watch take-offs. Oh childhood, how I miss you at moments. Once I was a little older, I loved traveling and flying. The escalators, the moving walkways, and the multi-lingual signs were part of the adventure.

Then one day it all changes. Airports began to mean something so much more than fun journeys. I got an ugly taste in my mouth for airports first when I had to say goodbye to my new Serbian friends in 2012. Though I felt in my heart, the Lord wasn’t done with me there, I still had to say goodbye.

Goodbyes got worse. I spent the month of May saying goodbye to all my friends, old and new. I said goodbye to my church family who threw a sweet fellowship to wish and prayerfully send me off. My parents threw a dear goodbye with family and close friends. And then the "airport" time came... My own parents couldn’t even take me to the airport because they knew how hard it would be for all three of us. I still can’t remove the image of my Momma and pup-dog sitting on the porch waving me off as my best friend, Kelia, took me to the airport. Again there, I had to say a final farewell to them for two years.

Airports just don’t get easier. We sent off three American teams this summer at the airports rekindling all those somber memories. Then the interns left. That one was quite heavy-hearted as I gained some awesome friendships of brothers and sisters in Christ. Our final intern left a few days ago. All the airport visits just make me sick thinking about the loss of great people. Though the Internet is a gift and many of these goodbyes are just goodbyes in the flesh, I am grateful the goodbyes suck; that means I gained some stellar friends (and had deep relationships). Facetime, Skype and Facebook have all been a blessing to be able to stay in touch with them frequently. 

What I have realized much more realistically is that none of these locations an airplane can take me are my home. Home is not a location this world can offer. 

"For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come. Hebrews 13:14 Amen

I can’t wait until Heaven where there will be no more goodbyes  EVER!